i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
