I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
