I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
