I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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