I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
