Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
