Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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