too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
