Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this will be a night to untag.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
