You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
