Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
