your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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