i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
