Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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