those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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