I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
