please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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