I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
