Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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