I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I pour the whiskey from now on
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
