So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
