ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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