Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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