That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
