Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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