"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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