she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
