her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
