You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
