whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
