I accidentally had phone sex last night
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
