i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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