farters have to be the big spoon...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
