The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
