That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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