new low.... made out with someone while peeing
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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