Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
