Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
