You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
True strength comes from lack of pants
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
