Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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