Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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