This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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