Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Randomize
