Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
