Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
