Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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