since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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