she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
