I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
