I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
