Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
